Feels Like Home: 09/01/2004

Happy Hour

"Not like spiritual social butterflies, but for meaningful growth"-Djere

Well kids...
It is time for a well needed update. A real update if you will. I have been struggling...and I mean struggling in so many areas of my life. I think though when it comes down to it I know what I need to start doing and when I make steps to do those things I think that things will get easier.

I love where I am living now. It is a fairly stable supportive household and most of all it provides me with a much needed routine. My routine this week has been somewhat disrupted by an insane new habit of waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning. I am hoping this will pass because it really isn't my idea of a picnic. I haven't been home to Adams much since I came back to Oswego. I think that even though I am really struggling and frustrated it is a sign of growth. I want to look back at this time as a start of something new, something fresh and not have to look back anymore with excuses and regret.

I need some help now. I am making steps to do something that I haven't done before. I am looking to change old habits of procrastination. I am also looking to increase the level of accountability in my life. One of my old habits had been to only depend on people or look for people in crisis. Actually if given my way I wouldn't need them at all. I know it might seem silly if you know me. I mean i am a freindly person and outgoing in nature. Their is something deeper though that isn't seen. It is the part of me that doesn't do well with the jokes and sarcasm that is part of most of my peers social interaction. I know if I am in a pinch or I need prayer that I can depend on them. I think though that I can't just depend on people then and only then. I need to allow God to put me with the people who are going to build me up and who i can build up on a regular basis.

This is really scary for me. I know i have a tendancy to be too clingy, to try too hard, and I have been hurt or taken advantage of as a friend so many times but I can't dwell in the past. He has said"Behold I am doing a new thing" and that is the great thing about the new things. They are new. God loves new things and I don't have to always be the person that I was before.

So ..practically..this means studying and reading and doing all the things I put off and also as things get caught up and managable; taking time to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ and being there for them too. I know it won't happen overnight and I thing I owe many of you apologies for my actions in the past, I am sorry for being selfish and at times just stupid. I know that if God is going to work through me that I must choose every day to be more of who He created me to be.

I know that a big part of that is believing what other people have chosen not to reienforce in my life. That is the idea that I am complete and whole in my fathers love and that in him I lack nothing. Whether I am the one everyone calls to hang out with or I spend the next 10 months with nothing but me and my work and God. I am important to the One who created me perfect. I can do nothing to change the way that he feels about me but I choose to do better because it will honor him.
My prayer today is that for all of us: We will use or lives as worship and to give honor to our Creator in heaven. That we will extend grace to the unlovable, we will lay hands on and He will heal the brokenhearted, we will depend more on Him and who He is and less on us and who we think we should be. Less striving and more peace. Faith that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.
*katherine

Happy

Love

Things I love ....

Pouring Milk from a glass jug.

House Guests (Part of Isaiah Six is coming Monday night)

My computer

Babies

Mail from my father

Sunday Prayer and Worship Night

Spending hours in the bookstore

Days off

Long Breakfasts full of laughter

Having dinner cooked for me every night

Clean Laundry

Forgiveness

Grace

My Family

My Friends

Jesus

Sleep when it can be found

Ithemba and yours trully on Lake Ontario, friday evening

The Girls

Ithemba with my sister Mel and also the girls lovely host.

Ithemba is a Zulu word for Hope, They are a Youth for Christ Mission out of South Africa who minister through Dance, Drama and Testimonies. We were blessed to share with them this week. More photos to come soon.

Ithemba enjoys a Meal

Ithemba Performs at New Covenant on Thursday

MMM Rudys

Life as we know it

This morning I had an hour long breakfast which involved homeade bread and strawberry jam and decaf early grey tea with milk. It was shared with members of the new household I am a part of and also with a houseguest who shall remain anonymous. I love that it was before 7 and yet the house was already full of laughter and stories and joy. I love the way that even though I am not Home I am begining to feel very much "at home".

I am sitting in the library cafe enjoying my long lunch and mulling over the way that I am being stretched into this new place of belonging and also of taking and giving. Their is a beauty in the large family. Each bearing the load of responsibility and giving out so much in the way of unmeasurable genorosities. The hugs, the laughter, the offering to help, the routine of it all warms my heart in a way that the single apartement life cannot. It is such a blessing to have the simple things, not having to think about making dinner, clearing the table just once a week. Someone making me tea in the morning or seeing that I have all I need. I cannot express the way in which I know that God has prepared this place for me and I have such a peace about it.

On a less soap box note....Yesterday in dance class we did something called a primitive squat :)

I am going to see shrek 2 tonight at 10 and am so excited I love that movie

I bought west wing season 2 on dvd and am compleately addicted

My dad just got a new Job ...congrats Dad.

Mom and Dad Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday Dad...Sorry I am so lame :)

Well I had better go get my grub on....

HE could charm the husks right off the corn

Tuesday I drove to Fulton to Cortinis one of those stores which sells boots and sneakers and Ballet shoes and leotards and convertible tights. It was significantly lacking in the latter mentioned items but I made do and today as I dance my little feet off in my new dance class I will be looking so cute and dancy in my new "outfit" I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.

My father left a message on my phone the other day that went a little like this "KATHERINE, you need to call home because you just received a jury summons" "SAy WHat? Yeah so I called and now they have moved it to January when I am on my school break, but yes, I will be serving Jury duty. My English teacher said it was "so American" she is from south Africa and is the highlight of my Tuesday and Thursday. She also can be quoted to say "I don't want you just vomiting back information to me"(with British accent) :) I love it
Hmm...what else? Oh yeah...the other day I ordered a jelly doughnut...a powdered jelly doughnut...I was wearing black pants and a t-shirt...yeah..that was smart

I am sorry my posts have been so infrequent...I have no internet at home yet and unfortunately I lost a beautiful post the other day here in the computer lab. Guess what.....my sources tell me I have become a morning person.....Only time will tell if this will have a permanent effect on my life :) I have not woken up later then 6:30 this entire week. Yes children I am becoming my mother!!
My new house is great and I am having lots of fun being the oldest kid in the house even though the guys insist on the fact that I must be the younger sister even though I am 2 and 3 years older then them :) Well I need to go prepare for my day Thursdays my only math free days bring me Creative non fiction Dance and then Literature in the Global Context. I hope you are all having a great week.
"If you get a new name Jed, micah I want a new name"-me
"Ok, How about? Jezebel?"-Jed(micah)

"I have a superpower of repeating things until they aren't funny anymore" "I have a superpower of repeating things until they aren't funny anymore" "I have a superpower of repeating things until they aren't funny anymore" -me

"Your cat is creepy, He's like a mummy cat" -Mel

"he could charm the husks right of the corn" a guest at dinner last night

Feels Like Home

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Friday, September 17, 2004

"Not like spiritual social butterflies, but for meaningful growth"-Djere

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Love

Monday, September 13, 2004

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Friday, September 03, 2004

Life as we know it

Thursday, September 02, 2004

HE could charm the husks right off the corn

About Me

Oh the Places You'll Go

Previous Posts

Archives